Information About Vekinuma
Hi, you’re in the right place. The place that contains a variety of information on me, and should give you a general idea of what I’m all about and if that’s something you like.
I’m Vekinuma, but you may see “Vekinooma” online as well, the name originating from a friend who came up with it seemingly on a whim, but I have taken a liking for it and I intend to use it until that’s no longer possible.
Interests -
I like a variety of things and they tend to ebb and flow depending on my mood, one day I may be very interested in one specific thing while the next day it falters. I’ve been able to maintain some level of consistency, but you should know, in no particular order, that I have interest in: art, music, virtual reality, literature, technology, philosophy, psychology, and sociology.
There’s a lot to unpack here, and I’d like to preface this before you read further; yes, I have interest in these things, but they are not identifiers of my identity, they only partake a small portion of what makes me, me. In addition, just because I have interest in something does not mean I’m good at it or knowledgeable of the topic I have interest in. If I knew all the information about a specific topic, I think I’d be bored. This also goes to say that after a certain amount of time, I get bored of certain things and move onto others, while some may remain at my core because, I have made myself believe, they are more important and deeper than the other things available to me to hold onto.
Art has been a part of my life for a long time, as is with most people, but this has most likely ebbed and flowed the most and has not totally gone away. I would include “writing” as part of this systemized list because I find it to be an art form, although I tend to see it separated from other art-forms in media. I have generally enjoyed writing despite it be generally painful and agonizing, it’s a masochistic practice above all else, but words are beautiful and I know only how to use them poorly and inappropriately. Other forms have come and gone with time, specifically drawing, but this was mostly due to my tendency to be depressed and thus lacking in the focus and willingness to put hours into something, once again, I find to be beautiful. Fortunately, the seasons are changing from winter to spring, and I might have a chance to do something with this change before it’s winter again, if it ever becomes winter again. These two are the forms I have begun working in but I have clear intent to focus on video-editing, graphic design, and cinematography. It’s lovely having so many interests and so little time to work on them all.
I think everyone likes listening to music. What flavors of music they enjoy can vary, although there’s always a limitation to what varieties they like. If someone says “I like all genres!” then you better start asking them all the genres they like, and chances are, they’ll be unable to name more than three, which actually gives you an idea of the kind of music they listen to. Not to say you can’t listen to a varied degree of music, but you probably have favorites. For me, I like mostly metal, and within metal, I can say I like black, sludge/doom, power, and thrash. It is generally dependent on my mood and what I want to go for. Additionally, I can get behind classical, but I have a preference for baroque-era classical music, it tends to be more interesting and powerful. Electronic and rock have their places too, just not as often. I’m a beginner guitarist and I’m more obsessed with the innerworkings and creation aspect more than repetitively repeating what’s already been done. I want to understand what has been done, why it was good or bad, and what to do with that information. Not to say repetition isn’t in my regimen, that’s what practice is all about, but my practice sessions have become more and more deliberate as time as pulled me forward. I do have an interest for other instruments, but as a common characteristic of my life, I don’t really have space on my plate to fit another one on there; bass guitar is a fantasy for when I’m trying to sleep.
I enjoy virtual reality but generally I’m speaking about specifically VRChat. Not to say there aren’t other platforms available, nor that other games don’t exist, but it’s just what I want out of VR is simply a socialization game. I liked the general idea behind NeosVR, or what is now called Resonite, but the performance is too poor and the social aspect of the platform is also not there. Despite a limited choice of platforms for what I want, VRChat tends to deliver on most aspects. I can create, albeit out of the game, and I can talk to people. I have made a few friends on the platform but for the hundreds of hours I’ve put into it, the majority of people on the platform don’t tend to interest me. Not that they aren’t interesting people, or that they don’t have interesting things to say, but we just don’t tend to connect. Even though this is the case, I still go on the platform, when I have time, because I want to interact and socialize with people with very little limitations on how I act. I can walk up to anyone and start talking to them, or anyone can start talking to me, which is one of my favorite aspects. I hope existing platforms improve so that there can be more variety and choice.
I think everyone likes reading a good book, they just don’t know the book they need to read. For some, it could be all the books, for others, it could be only a few of the books, but you should try searching to find which ones were meant for you. I fall into the latter group, there are only so many books I’m capable of reading and I want to be specific and deliberate with my reading choice, as I’m actively allowing something to influence me, and that can be a dangerous thing. I have some flavors of literature that I learn more towards, but my choice in reading a book is what it offers, or I believe it to offer. Genre doesn’t matter as much as what I want and how it’s written. Sometimes I really just want relaxed fantasy, I want to be immersed and distracted in another world. At other times, I want to focus on the alteration of my systems, or adjusting, changing, breaking, or strengthening other systems. Mood and focus both play an important part in what’s going to be read, sometimes I can be reading one book, but not require it anymore, so I’ll drop it for something else, in my mind, there’s no purpose in suffering through a book you aren’t enjoying or gaining something from.
Technology is always a coming and going type thing for me. Sometimes I’m intensely focused on technology, but this is generally because I want to do a specific task or have a particular goal. Once that’s fulfilled, I don’t really care for it anymore; why would I? Technology for me is not like guitar, where I’m always grasping for something more, something better, more of an understanding, but rather, as a tool and understanding that tool enough to get by. I used to care more about technology but it’s probably in the realm of my most experienced subjects, so whenever I’m dealing with it, I don’t have to think intimately about it, or better yet, the me from a time of focus, set up things so that I, in the present, won’t have to! Hardware talk tends to be the equivalent to talking about the weather in my mind, it just doesn’t interest me, maybe if there’s a paradigm change I’ll listen, but I don’t care about how many GHz your CPU can fart out. Software is in the same area of disinterest, I used to obsess over operating systems, but then I realized it’s a tool like anything else, and no one cares what distribution of Linux you’re using. The creation of software can be more interesting, though, because I can code very little, so it's an area of unknown for me, and some logic in my life is nice. I got into servers for a while, I have a YouTube channel I go to for that type of thing as well, and it tends to be interesting because of my lack of knowledge.
As stated before, sometimes, I like to read philosophy. It is another means of putting myself in a state of constant questioning, not to the point of dysfunction, but enough that I know what I’m thinking is what I want to think, or that I know why I’m thinking a certain way, or that I’m content with the answers I currently have. I’m never content with the answers I have, so I keep digging, but there tends to be a layer of objectivity that most people, and philosophers, agree upon. I try to find that common ground, consume that information, and because I’m an individual, I decide whether these ideas can stay or go, or manipulated to work for me. I think you can insert a level of pragmatics into philosophy, it doesn’t have to be pondering the things you can’t explain outside or inside your brain. I can take a set of ideas and apply them. Not to say it isn’t fun to ponder, but there’s a time and place for that type of thought, and if you get too caught up in it, you get stuck pondering the same ideas forever.
I want to know how the brain works and psychology tends to help with the questions I have, neuroscience also helps, but I’m not a prodigy, so there’s going to be a limitation to how much I can learn and understand within a timeframe. Anyway, psychology works well for questions I have on how people act and think, which is important when I want to say something to someone else and receive a specific response, or I have the awareness that something is trying to do the same to me. It sounds manipulative, because it is, but that manipulation can be used for good, on others or yourself. If I learn ways to manipulate myself, yes, I can hurt myself deeply, or I can manipulate myself into believing what I’m doing actually matters, manipulating myself into believing the words I’m writing right now have meaning, purpose, and intent. In the same vein, I could, although I’m sick of it, think of the words as being worthless, meaningless, and a waste of time, and I’m better off not doing anything than something. And so, I apply this to other people, assuming the context calls for it, so that I may help someone get out of a hole, or a bout of depression, or at the very least, plant some seeds that growth can occur at some point.
Sociology is branching off from psychology and has a general focus on how people interact between each other. I also find this important, I want to understand why people are interacting they way they do with people, and how that can change from person to person. We can continually scale this up too, thinking about the culture of a city, state, or nation. It’s important to realize this not only for understanding people, but also appealing to certain people. If you know the person is from a specific region, area, or has certain associations, you know how to appeal, or not appeal, to them. Like psychology, this can be abused to hurt people, but it can also do the opposite. Maybe I want to appeal to an individual or group of individuals because they’re lonely, well if I know the commonalities, differences, and all the things that vary, I can make an appeal that is directed towards the similarities. That is my intent of my web presence, if you’re curious, and it will be more obvious when I do start creating video content.
Goals -
My goals can and do change, but this should you give a general idea of what I’m currently aiming to obtain, understand, or achieve. Also, to preface everything you’re about to read, for both myself and you, this was written on 7/6/2024, and I’ll date changes as they come into play.
Currently I’m focusing on the interests like listed above, but to be more specific I want: to improve my guitar playing and theory, my ability to draw, my ability to video edit, my ability to create interesting designs, my writing skills, and introducing new artistic endeavors (planting seeds).
As of writing this, I’ve been a bit obsessed over guitar, especially after not having such a hard focus on it, I’m loving the further understanding I’m obtaining and my general movement all over the fretboard. Playing more is the only way I’ll improve, and practicing with intention will only propel the improvement faster. I’m learning and focusing on specific things better than previous, so this allows me to notice my weaknesses better, although as I learn more, my awareness of those weaknesses will also increase, so I’ll have to be wary to maintain a strong foundation when learning a new thing.
Drawing has been holding me down for many years, an interest always present but I always was unable to grasp it properly, I wasn’t capable of focusing for hours, it is only until recently that I’ve been capable of learning and applying information at my current rate. I’m pretty slow now, but I was even slower in years past, so drawing has been another focus of mine. Like guitar, repetition is a necessity, but it’s a repetition I have a fondness of, I feel like I’m going somewhere for a reason, and I couldn’t really ask for more. I don’t really know when I’ll stop and feel satisfied, but I hope I have a while until then.
Video-editing is more of an act of necessity than pure interest. I don’t go, “oh yes, I want to edit video content so badly, I want to see how far I can push my ability to edit video!” More like, I need to have a good enough understanding of the software I want to use and what to do with my available options; non-edited video, for the most part, sucks. Too much editing sucks too. I’m going to learn the hard way of that balance, and I’m generally content with this. My choice in software is Adobe’s Premiere, might as well stick with standards.
Design, specifically graphic designs, are also of interest. It’s a mix of wanting to understand what appeals to people, and thus includes, myself, but also the process or building that. I want to make good thumbnails, and maybe in the future, vector-based artwork, or just learning good design philosophies to work within. I don’t know if I will, but I might want to make logos in the future, maybe I’ll want to change the design of my website, but really I just like it, and that’s the strongest force and reason in the interest.
I have always enjoyed writing but simultaneously neglected it. My word choice is poor, and I just splatter a bunch of words on the page, clean it up a little, and consider it done. I know how to go farther but actively refuse to, and this is something I want to break through. I think the more I write, the more I’ll notice the defects, which is about everything in my writing, but I think I will begin to start taking a stand against that, and start writing in a way that’s personalized yet interesting, tantalizing but not overbearing. Taste plays a big part too, so I really need to figure out what I’m liking at that period of time and knowing that it is going to change as I change… as long as I’m willing to change.
The “planting-seeds” category is focused on things I like and find cool and interesting or whatever but haven’t dug into them. I just want a little taste of them so that when I do have more time, if that ever happens, I can finally use all the held-up energy to burst through the boring introductory stages of the thing. An example of this is an ability to use Blender and Unity. I’m letting the bucket fill, not only because I don’t have the time, but also because when it does happen, it’ll be a main focus until I run out of energy or I reach a level of satisfaction so that I may slow down.
Core Ideological Systems –
Yeah, these should have a tendency to change. Maybe I’ll put something here at a later time, but right now, I’m not feeling it.