I think most can agree that we don’t have total freedom. If we did, things would be, well… something, I really don’t know. I mean, assuming we could flip a switch right at this moment and free ourselves from the constraints that make us, us, then I don’t think we would be “us” anymore. If constraints are what make us who we are, and if these are broken, then we don’t exist without constraints. Before dropping the discussion, we could think about some constraints being lifted, like we could be a little freer to do what we wanted while still following other rules of the universe, like physics. There are also mental constraints, one’s that have been instilled by other people or ourselves based on protection and staying alive. Many of these constraints can be unnecessary and work against us, but they exist so that certain things don’t occur again or ever. There are also times where an individual or group of individuals have instilled a fear that something bad will happen to us, so we shouldn’t act or do a specific thing in order to avoid the horrible thing from happening. An example of this might be a friend, or someone you trust, telling you and making you believe that another person is out to get you, that they want to harm you, for whatever reason. And the person you trust, continually tells you this until you believe them, because they are so confident in that fact. Could it be true? Maybe, but it could just as well not be true. The point is, a new system has been set in place by someone else in order to avoid a certain person, and it can be constraining.
A new constraint has been created in this new system of thought. You likely will now avoid a specific person, and this results in a change of behavior. You might not go to the same places you used to, because that person you think you must avoid could be present. Whatever action you might do to avoid the person is based around the severity of what you believe the person wants to do to you. It could inhibit you to function, for you fear to leave your house or interact with other people, because they could all be connected to this very specific person, and thus they’re all out to harm you. This too, can lead you to believe you can only trust the person that has told you this secretive and esoteric information that no one else has, and now they have power over you.
Or this constraint could be applied on a smaller scale. You deliberately avoid the person, but you don’t care what they might attempt to do to you. Maybe you’ll confront them if you think that might change or solve the problem of constraints in your new system. There are many different ways a person might act depending on many varying factors. The point is, just by believing others, we can change how we act and think, even if there isn’t any evidence. Or even in the presence of evidence, it might be faux or weak, but it might be enough if we’re attacked emotionally. It can vary as to your own reaction too, if you are someone more prone to paranoia or fear, this situation will likely impair you more than someone without those traits. Despite all the variability, what stands true is that new constraints can be put into place by seemingly any person you trust, even if the information they use to back up their claim is weak.
I think all people have been influenced by other people, and so think in ways based around what they’ve been told. However, depending on the person, it could be worse or better. There are also constraints we all have learned as a society, and so it can change depending on the society present. I’d like to think the majority of people in the United States have constraints instilled into them to feel fear when seeing someone wearing all black, a trench coat, and obviously carrying a firearm. They’ve been taught to fear such a thing, and they also have the associations between a firearm and death. These types of constraints aren’t totally unreasonable, for they can help us survive, but not everyone will think the same thing. Suppose a situation where a person has never heard of or seen a firearm, and someone wearing a trench coat, and maybe even a ski-mask, holding a firearm enters the same building as that person. They probably wouldn’t associate harm with what the person is holding or wearing, because, well, they won’t fear this person. Why would they? What’s there to fear? What association is there to stop them from continuing whatever they’re doing instead of running away? They are freer than the majority of us in this particular way, but the constraint would probably have benefitted our chances of survival.
We could go on and on about other constraints that literally exist to help us survive, one’s we don’t have control over, like feeling hunger, thirst, or fatigue. These are not constraints that impair our ability to function, nor have they been instilled by people, but instead, they are automatic and allow us to function. They exist so that we may continue to function. In some cases, they can be annoying, like if you want to focus on something but then eight hours pass, and you still haven’t eaten anything, you could go without eating for days, but if you don’t eat, then you can’t focus. You may have ignored the hunger thus far, but you are aware you must eat in order to focus, even if it wouldn’t have been a life-or-death decision.
Others are impaired like the first example given, where they live in fear of the loss of life or intense harm being inflicted upon them. I’m pretty sure most people don’t like suffering or pain, and tend to fear death, so systems that exist to avoid these things will be placed on a higher priority than others. The issues begin to occur when the mental constraints present don’t make sense. We’re all guilty of believing something that wasn’t true, whether we found out too late or just in time, it doesn’t matter, because it showcases, we’re capable of falling victim to the illogical, the lies, the false narratives. How many systems do I have that are based around false truths? How many systems do you have? We both really don’t know for sure. We can keep going deeper and deeper, re-evaluating our systems, trying to adjust them to more factual, but in our adjustments, how do we know our current mind is able to adjust them to be factual? It’s hard to do, but even just trying to adjust your systems is an improvement, and doing it on your own is especially hard. Having those you actually do trust can aid in this time of adjustment.
In my limited experience, I’ve mentally noted a certain age in which people stop trying to change their systems and beliefs. The breaking off point tends to be around 30, once again, in my very limited experience. These people I’ve met and talked with aren’t actively learning new things, and they have enough solidity in their life so that something like change isn’t necessary for them to feel okay. If they’re feeling fine, for what reason would they change? If they can survive as they are, then, in their view, surely there is nothing to change? This can continue on as they age, and so they hold onto the same systems and ideas for the rest of their life because they believe there is no reason to, and thus constraints they’ve held on since they were around 30 are still held on because of ignorance. They can’t see that systems could be changed and adjusted, they don’t feel the need to think or feel more, they don’t feel the need to be freer. For all I know, when I’m at that age, I might act similarly. I can try to keep myself in check, at the very least.
If they had a reason to change, then surely, they might do so, yes? If they felt constrained, they might work through their systems in order to change and fix that, right? Maybe, but also maybe not. If you stop changing, it only becomes increasingly difficult to start changing again. It’s like an object in motion stays in motion, and an object at rest stays at rest. It isn’t easy to get this object moving, but the more often you do it, the less difficult it will be, the brain is a muscle after all, and you have to keep working it. Could you imagine spending decades sticking with the same systems and ideas and then being told you have to change them? I really can’t, it’s incomprehensible to me, but these are people living among us, these people are our mothers’, fathers’, and even our leaders’.
So, now you might have a better idea of what I’m talking about when I speak of constraints, and some different levels of constraint. This might sound like good or awful news, depending on the type of person you are and how you view constraints. No matter which camp you’re in, I’d like to assure you that this is good news. Awareness of your own mind helps you work through problems you have. Not only that, in a world without constraints, there is indefinite boredom and chaos, but with constraints, there is rigidness and order. We tend to get into gray areas, suppose a structure that exists for you to work within it. We’re only human, so we can work within this structure in a plethora of ways, and those ways only increase as the complexity of the structure increases too, but there are a finite number of ways for it to be used. We learn more about our world and the things within it, but as we learn layer after layer, it almost seems like there is no end to our digging. That there is always another layer that we have to dig towards; that there is no finality, but in finality would come boredom, wouldn’t it? If we had all our answers, for what reason do we live?
I hope that gives some insight into what I want to work towards. I’m less concerned by ever-growing complexity, a lack of understanding of the external world, and confusion by it all as time passes. Instead, I focus on the internal. Whether these are systems that have been placed in me by other people or by myself, I try to focus on the one’s that hinder my ability to do things. Due to this being so fresh in my mind, I also want to provide some ways for you to work through your own systems and breaking them, however long it may take, because the longer a system is in place, the harder it is to adjust it, change it, or maybe even bring it back, because it did truly belong. Some methods are mental and work totally within your internal world, some are external, and some methods are just copes, but I believe there is some value in each of these respects.
I used to maintain a belief that there is no reason to do anything and no meaning in the world, thus I could do nothing because all actions would be considered meaningless. This system of thought was impairing. I believed that if there was reason to do something, I’d do it, but in the world with this system of thought, there could be nothing worth doing, so I would forever be without reason, and would never do anything. I believed this system was reflective of reality, and that people did what they did because they had reasons to, incentives to, that they couldn’t see the meaninglessness of life like I could, and they were blinding themselves so that they may have the ability to function; to do the same repetitive thing forever, because they had a reason to.
For the most part, I’ve moved on from this old system. Mainly, now I believe I can do things, and so I do! The system was based on my own feelings at made sense to me at the time, but that time is over. Those feelings were based on old environments I am no longer in and people that no longer have influence over me. When I began thinking that there was no meaning in the world, I was not in a position to change my environment or choose what people were around me. I began to grasp control once I grew more, and then did gain the ability to change things, and that was the final nail in the coffin to this old system. What’s important to note here is that the system changed mostly because of a change in environment and the people around me. Well, it’s a little more nuanced than that, because I also had people who actively trying to tell me my systems didn’t make sense, and I was being irrational with my thought processes. I had a lot of trouble hearing them out, believing that they wouldn’t know what I’ve gone through. I would think to myself, “What could they know?” I would have to trust someone else’s thinking, and I was afraid of that, because in the past, that didn’t help me. I really didn’t see a benefit to doing things instead of staying idle then.
There are two important takeaways here. One being the importance of a change in environment and the other being people who wanted me to change. Sometimes that might be enough, but in my experience, there needs to be more. There can be small shoves from those who care, but their actions alone won’t change the system. Not only do they have limited energy to put towards you, but you need to put energy towards yourself. I found that last piece in the puzzle was my own urgency. I felt like I was missing something, and that feeling was the worst of all. It was worse than doing nothing. I felt like I had to change, because otherwise, I could not live with the feeling of the idleness I felt. I genuinely felt worthless, and I could stay worthless forever, or I could change what worth is to me, or I could attain worth; my own perception of worth. My systems of value came into play to keep my other systems in check, if I were totally worthless, I wouldn’t be able to attain worth. However, with the help of others and myself, I found that I could at least try to attain something, and trying would be enough. Not that it came overnight. This was a multi-year process, and sometimes I still have to work through it. It started off slow. I started with simple things. For example, I never read until I started working on changing these ideas and wanting to feel better, and I found that I loved reading. I also started easing myself out of brain rot, like watching shows day-after-day or playing video games day-after-day. Not that those things are bad, but that they didn’t fit within my own systems of value, my own systems of “doing.” They were most like doing “nothing.” It wasn’t literally doing nothing, but it felt like nothing, and nothing came of the consumption I was doing.
After this tremendous change, arguably my most important change, if I had to rank them, I was experiencing much better mental clarity, and so I could finally work through all the old systems that needed to adjusted and changed. I felt good enough to work towards and try to make myself feel even better, because it’s not like I was healed overnight based on a single change. These changes were plentiful, however, I was only beginning my adjustment journey, so while trying to adjust and change systems, I missed out on some important characteristics of adjusting, but now having been there, I know some better ways to go about working through changes in systems and working within. All being said and done, something like asking questions can be applied both internally and externally, but right now I want to focus on the internal world, but it can lead you to realizing that the external world is the force impacting your internal one.
I ask questions. Asking questions forces me to re-evaluate what I thought to be true or untrue, or make me question systems that had otherwise would have not been brought into questions if I had not asked different, seemingly unrelated, questions. The types of questions you ask matter, but questions can start pretty general. Consider questions like “Why do I feel this way?” or “Why do I think way?” or “How can I change how I feel?” or “Why do I want to change how I feel?” Once you begin to get more specific with what systems need to be changed, you can, as a result of that, become more specific with your questions. Suppose this: I have a system that that makes me think that all my writing is awful, and I found this system by asking general questions. Now, I can be more specific. “Why is my writing awful?” “What can I do to make my writing less awful?” “At what point will my writing no longer be awful?” “Does thinking this way help me any with my writing?” These types of questions help gauge what is needed to be done to satisfy the existing system and if the system is harming or helping. If you can’t come up with clear answers, you may realize that the system is silly and superfluous, and it’s actually causing harm than help. In this particular case, I know why my writing is awful, and I know how to make it less awful, so I’d better try and achieve that rather than be upset at myself for being a poor writer. I used to believe being harsh on myself gave me urgency, and it did, but it also hurt me, which stopped me from doing things, like in this case, writing. To help my system and myself, I acknowledge that poor writing is okay, but I should be trying to make it better each time I write.
Asking questions are great for systems that aren’t so totally rooted into you that you can identify them as changeable. There are other systems that you don’t even consider questioning because they’ve been in place for so long, so why change them? It’s similar to the people who become satisfied. They don’t feel the need to change, they don’t see what good could change bring. This is where other people, one’s you trust, become such an important factor. Yes, this means you have to be very careful. I have very few that I can sincerely trust to the point of allowing them to directly influence me and how I act. If you don’t have anyone you can trust to this level, I’d steer away for the time being. This is because if the person doesn’t know you well, they might harm you unintentionally. If they do want to harm you, they will be able to intentionally. In the case you do have a person or many people, check if they are willing to help you. If so, ask them questions, ask them about you as a person. Things like how you act, and what they might want to see change. Ask them what they think you have problems with, ask them how they came to those conclusions, and ask them for their wisdom and experience. If you have many people you can trust, you might notice that one person can observe something but it could be okay for them, but another person could view it as an issue. You might have to trust yourself, and you have to be okay with that, and you have to be willing to roll back to an old system if the new one doesn’t work. The more people you can trust, the better, and be willing to search for those people if you don’t have them already.
How does this all play into the lack of freedom? Well, one part of me wanted to talk about changing systems, but the main point is, the systems are constraints on you. Some exist to keep you physically safe; some exist to keep you mentally safe, but that doesn’t mean safe is the same as it was ten years ago, or five, or even one year. You might think that constraints stop the bad things from happening, constraints don’t allow the bad things from even arising. (Or this is what they try to do, or what you think they do, or what you’ve been made to think they do.) However, they also allow you to work within them. Like the writing example, I can work within that system, it exists to avoid bad writing, and I can use it to promote good writing. It doesn’t mean good writing will come of it, but that’s the intent of the system, that’s my intent, and I can actively read old writing and see improvements since then, so the system or idea that trying to write more, better, actually helps, and is only reinforced as time passes and I see that improvement.
Now that I have identified a few major constraints, namely systems we have within the mind, and the things that have created and now maintain those systems, I would like to get into constraints of the human body and the world around it, and honestly, coping with that. I mentioned the laws of physics, but that’s not really what I want to focus on, not that I could anyway. We’re aware of these basic rules that force us to work within them, and they have also made us physically the way we are, thanks to the variables encompassed within nature and nurture. We have to be in these bodies for our entire lifetimes, at least as it stands now, unless technology changes that, but we shouldn’t act in accordance to the possibility of being a machine. It might happen, it might not, and even if it does, it might not be as we expect it to be now. If you’re content with being a human being, a thing of flesh and bone, then good for you! I’m envious. I also am aware there are many out there who are okay with being a human, but not the type of human they already are. Unfortunately for me, I would like to either have a different body or none at all, but won’t be happening. Considering myself and others out there, what should we do? I’m going to try and help you cope with it, whether it because you don’t feel like your body aligns with your mind or it feels like a constraint that’s stops you from doing the things you want to do, or something completely different.
Shift focus. I try to shift my focus away from my physical body as much as possible. It’s understood that humans quickly adapt to physical changes. It could be a big change, like living in an entirely new area, or something simple like putting a shirt on, but for some, it might take much longer for them to adapt, or they can’t adapt, like the sensation of the shirt on their skin never going away. I don’t want to suggest disassociation. Instead, I want it to be thought of as a redirection. You, the person, aren’t going away anywhere. You’re still there, in your body, but you aren’t thinking about how you’re in a body or you’re feeling the sensations of a particular body. Your focus should be on something you want to do or believe you must do. I have a lot of discomfort as a result of being a human being, and there are constant reminders that I am one, but I try to distance myself from those reminders and focus on the things that are a bit more abstract and make me forget that’s the case. My introduction to this redirection was reading. Fantasy novels, or any novel that is focused on a story, has worked well to give me some distance.
I think in the age of information, it’s more difficult than ever to get into a good book. People are occupied with experiencing constant dopamine splurges with all the short form content they could ever want, and if you get sick of that, you can endlessly scroll on the internet, searching for a little bit of a high, and once you need more, you can watch porn all the time. It never ends, and the cravings only increase as you keep up the same regimen. This does work for distancing yourself, yes, but the difference from reading a book versus internet usage is the internalization of information and the continuation of the story. The information on the internet or a social media site could and will give me quick dopamine hit, and it will make me forget that I’m me, but I will continually require more and crave more in order to feel okay again. This means the times that I’m not experiencing it, I’m feeling especially awful, more awful than what my baseline was before consuming all the short-form garbage, or worse. However, with a book, I’m not getting that same dopamine deprivation/craving system, I’m just being lost in something. It takes time to get lost in it, but as I do it more, I become better at getting lost in it. I could spend days just reading, going on and on for hours, sleeping, and then reading on again. Not that I do this, because I have other things I want to do, but if I must escape, it’s an easy way to do so.
I can’t tell you how to fix the social media issue, if you have one, or how to stop doom-scrolling if you’re addicted to the internet. I’m not some pure being, I use the internet too, and it has upsides and downsides, like all things, and I’ve decided the upsides of the internet are larger than the downsides, for the time-being anyway. Try to ask yourself questions in order to get yourself out of that hole, try to understand why you’re trying to escape, and consider other ways to escape. If you don’t have any problem with your social media usage or internet doom-scrolling, then keep on at it. The only reason I stopped because it didn’t work for me anymore, and it tended to make me feel bad instead of good, and feeling bad usually means I feel like me the most.
If you are stuck using the internet for your escapism, and you’re trying to resolve it, reading might seem like a difficult task. I wouldn’t be able to suggest any book in particular, I don’t know what you like, but choose something you think you will like, and give it some time. Give it an hour, two hours, maybe even three, and if you can’t get into it, try another. There are enough books out there for everyone, so eventually, even if it takes time, you will find something you like, and from there you can keep branching of other books you like that are related. This is a pretty simple way to escape, applicable to beyond escaping the physical world.
Doing things, just about anything. Actions will help you forget the fact you’re in the body, sometimes even the physical ones. This can actually play into things that I would consider pretty meaningless, like video games, but can also extend to things like art, exercise, or even work. They require action from you, the observer, to act upon something. If you’re lucky, you’ll receive stimulus that feels good, or you might convince yourself it feels good. This could end up looking like a treadmill, you keep running, it feels good, and until you turn it off or run out of energy, you keep on running. It differs from something like reading because reading is a purely consumption-based escape. You internalize information, and the extent of your action is reading text on a page, you don’t even need to imagine the scenery the author describes, you just need to know what’s going on, why that is, and why you should care. Actions are another layer below this, where you are actively putting in a lot more energy for a lot more of an outcome, because you act upon the external world.
Personally, I love reading. I can fall back to it whenever I find it necessary to do so. The books are always available for me to read, whenever I need them, and they will wait for me until I’m ready. They won’t ever go away, and I can hold off until I think or feel it’s time. Books work great for when I need to internalize information and get lost in a world that isn’t my own, but at other times, I want to act upon the external world. I want to push and act, I want to create things, and I really want to create things that are beautiful. This is no easy task, as you might imagine, and it requires a tremendous amount of time, energy, effort, knowledge, intent, and urgency. However, this has the benefit of an outcome, something external to show yourself that you have something to show for all the time you spent on something, and that alone is enough.
When I’m in the “zone” of something, I am totally and utterly focused on that thing. It’s rare that I can really get into the zone of something, but it happens. Generally, I get into a state of medium-focus that allows me to do the thing, but occasionally I will float away and will require a mental refocus on the thing I’m trying to do. For example, with writing, I’ve been in a state of total focus and floating in and out. I’ve had nights where I could only write, forget everything else in my life, all my agonies, all my perils, all the unfortunate realities of life, and focus on writing, because that was the only thing that mattered, that was the only truth needed then, and I believed it would be the only truth needed, period. Well, eventually you exit that feeling, and it can be pretty euphoric during and after. You created or took huge steps towards creating something, whether it’ll be good, bad, or neither, in your view, doesn’t matter, because it felt good! You felt good, and you still feel good after, and what more could you ask for? Even in the times it doesn’t feel good, if you forgot your pain, it was still better than whatever the baseline was when you weren’t distracted.
In other times of semi-focus, I can work on something, go in-and-out, and keep working on it. It’s not to the same level of distraction, as being totally focused on something, but it works well. It works well to distract me nonetheless, if you wanted to quantify it, it would be equal-to or near the level of reading. In the end, I’m not focused on my body or its limitations, because the limitations aren’t impairing whatever I’m doing. My body then becomes a body, not my body, and I am the puppet-master of this body, controlling it in ways I see fit, manipulating it so that it does what I want it to, because it can do those things I want, then and there. I’m working within these limitations because I have no other choice, I don’t have the freedom to think words and have them displayed on a screen, I can’t think of an image and have it appear in reality, I can’t think of a song and have it created in reality. I require usage of the puppet in order to make these things a reality, or what I believe to be reality, anyway.
What’s going on here is a change in perception in how you view your body. If you focus on the limitations of something, you become more aware of the limitations; you will focus on them. This can stop you from doing things, from thinking things, from being someone, because you are so totally consumed by the limitations that constrain you. Rather than all the things you could potentially do with these constraints. Or, you aren’t focused on the constraints, but the uncomfortable realities of your body, which could also impair you, you can distance yourself from those realities. Distraction is just another means of coping.
Escapism comes in many forms, but some are more prone to different types of escapism. The one I’d like to mention is creating worlds with your mind. This can vary from person to person. I’d like to think I can create stories and characters, but I can’t forget that I’m in reality, or be confused by which reality is the true reality, but some can. In this, you can place yourself in the story, or you can be an observer or main character in the story, and in this world, which is totally disconnected from reality and your perception of the outside world, you can set whatever rules you like. You don’t have to accept the same constraints that are present here. You truly escape from your body, for the “you” is no longer focused on this world, but your own world, and that world can then be considered your true reality, and this world, merely just a faux one, one you are probably stuck experiencing, but that’s fine as long as you can have the one in your mind, which could work as a supreme coping mechanism.
I have outlined some coping mechanisms for dealing with the reality of restraints, whether it be constraints dealing with the internal or external world. I haven’t been comprehensive, there are many ways to go about working through these issues, but what I’ve mentioned has worked for me or I know has worked for friends of mine. For this very small last section, I want to talk about what I believe true freedom is, and how it probably isn’t something want if you have interest in this “ultimate” freedom.
Death. Death is true-freedom. How could this be? Well, when you think of freedom, you think of the lack of restrictions, you think of the ability to do whatever, whenever, however, in all ways. Similarly, you don’t have want, you don’t exist. It’s incomprehensible to human beings. We cannot think or imagine what that freedom is like. Everything we do and how we think is based on a world and sets of structures that are restrictive. From the physical world to the mental world. We can continually push these limitations, and that’s great, that’s what we always want to do. We want to push further and get deeper into understanding and breaking what we consider to be not understood. However, even at the bottom, even after all the layers have been passed, we are still in this universe, we are still here, we are still, us. No matter how we want to transform ourselves, by going into a computer or turning into bug people, or even reincarnation as a planet, restrictions are occurring. For without restrictions there is only chaos. Not to say this universe is not a chaotic one, but it has a level of order, for if it didn’t, we wouldn’t be here. Chaos and order are necessary, but they are required to be balanced.
Death is the breaking of this balance. I’m sure you understand at this point that these are all my views and you can disagree with them, but I’d like to state that is my view of death, and it’s just as true as any other. I don’t think of anything after death. I think of death as the absence of life. What does life bring? Restrictions, constrictions, and limitations. If death is the absence of life, then it also must be the absence of the listed things, yes? Yes, it must be, assuming that is actually the case. In this, of course, there is a lack of you, the individual. You and I are incapable of experiencing this freedom. For death is the absence of us, we will never be able to experience this true freedom. It might sound unfortunate, but without restrictions, I really don’t believe we’d have any reason to do anything.
I have decided that a lack of freedom is okay. If I could actually experience death, and instead of being the absence of life, it’s another manifestation of it, where I lose myself but don’t really die, but have been stripped away of all that held me back in this world, I would still no longer be me. I am only me because of those restrictions, because of those limitations, and that should be noted as something of beauty. In the abyss, there is nothing there, for everything is there, and all is possible, and so nothing is possible. Total and utter freedom, and so, total and utter restriction. I need a world of limitations to exist, not to say, me, the individual, is beautiful, but I can make note of all the things I consider beautiful are held within constraints, and some of those constraints can be broken, but we always begin working within them before knowing the right ways to break them.