I have only worked jobs that I haven’t really enjoyed. These have varied, and they are pretty limited, but I have always been trying to find ways to make them less miserable. I am unfortunately all too aware that many people struggle to deal with job positions they’d rather not have, but I would like to think there are many ways to make any job acceptable, but sometimes, you must accept that you have to work somewhere else. If you can, I would suggest finding a different job you would find less miserable, and continually do this until you reach a position you actually enjoy. If this is something that is off the table, then you’ll have to figure out ways to make the job you already have easier to tolerate. There are many different ways to make your job less desolate, however for myself, some ways I’ve made it through many of my jobs has been: disassociation, audio distractions, chatting, maximizing breaks, and trying to get the most out of the position.
I’ve practiced and still continue to practice disassociation at work. It was a lot more relevant when I didn’t know how else to handle myself when in an environment I didn’t like. I’ve been disassociating since being in middle school, because I find that I’m constantly in an environment that I don’t want to be in. Things have become significantly better recently, yes, but for years, I didn’t really have anything other than disassociation. I would disassociate through middle school and high school, and then through the box opening job I had, which I had for far too long, but I don’t know the exact number of months, and it’s probably better that way.
It can be kind of hard to describe what I’m speaking of when I say “disassociation.” Really, all this means is that you distance yourself from both you and your environment. You go someplace else, in a sense, and the means of doing this is kind of difficult to describe. I’ve been able to do this naturally so I haven’t really had to give it much thought, but basically, I don’t think all that much. Sure, to some level, I have to think about the task I’m doing, but it won’t require all that much focus nor attention, so I barely even have to be there.
For example, when I was doing overnight stocking, it required little to no thinking. My brain was basically off for the entirety of the shift. I learned how to do the job on the first day, and from there on out, I began to turn my brain off. Which makes sense, I opened boxes, took product out of them, consolidated the boxes, and put the product on the shelf. That doesn’t really require any amount of thinking, and there is very little to plan ahead. Therefore, since I or anyone else in such a position wouldn’t be thinking all that much, our minds could head off into someplace else. We could think about what we would rather be doing, how much we hate our lives, how we wish things were different, or even things like what we want to eat later. (This last one applied to a lot of people I worked with!) These thoughts pop-up because there’s room for them to do so. It’s not like I’m an exception to this; however, I found myself in a state of not thinking much of the time, and this is where you want to be.
Disassociation truly is a feeling of disconnect, but as a result of feeling disconnected, you don’t feel. It’s a lack thereof, and that’s its benefit. Thoughts make you feel like time is moving slower, and will make you upset at the fact you’re in a place you don’t want to be, and how you’d wish you were somewhere else entirely. I’m not going to act like I didn’t have good thoughts that turned into larger things at later times, but that was the minority of the time, because I spent hundreds of hours unpacking boxes, and to have a thought here and there that wasn’t agony is something truly special. The point is, you have to focus on nothing, which sounds like it doesn’t make sense, but you’d have to give it a try. Instead of focusing on the things you want to do later, the things you’d rather be doing, or whatever else, you focus on the lack of any of those things; you have to focus on the void.
As you might be imagining already, this comes with some pretty steep downsides. First of all, you’re focusing on nothing, and while you’re able to escape the immediate world around you and the terrible feelings you might be having, things don’t actually change. You’re still there, and you’re still you, not feeling great, but you just aren’t there to acknowledge it. When you’re no longer working, you’ll probably stop disassociating, and then you can take a good look at how things actually are, and when doing that, it’s unlikely you’ll be happy at what you see. I wouldn’t suggest disassociation if you can do something else, but if you find that you have no other choice, I would consider it an upgrade from working a job you find to be miserable and experiencing every aspect of its terribleness, at all times that you’re there.
Aside from that particular downside, you also won’t be able to hold onto anything positive. Sure, while I spent most of my time disassociating because my job was absolutely miserable and my mind did not help me, I had moments where I would think, and during some of those moments, there were positive thoughts held within my mind. Just because it was rare doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, and by deciding to disassociate, you are blocking yourself out from even considering the possibility of that happening. If your job is so totally soul wrenching that there is nothing good to take in from around you; not the people, the things you do, or the thoughts you have; then perhaps it truly is best that you disassociate. However, if this is not the case, perhaps you should consider alternative methods for making work less miserable, such as audio distractions.
By audio distractions I’m mostly speaking about music, podcasts, and audio books. There are more than these, but they are the main three that are the most relevant. I actually gave all of them a try while working at the grocery store, and I found that music worked best for me, because I was also combining it with disassociation. It meant that at many times, I didn’t get the most out of the music I was listening to, but it was better than nothing. Or really, it was better than the music playing over the speakers. At the grocery store I worked at, overnight, the speakers would play all night, and it was a nightmare. I basically had to listen to something in order to block that out, because otherwise, I’m certain bad things would’ve happened, of which I will not describe here.
If you wanted to, you could try to focus on listening to music as much as possible, and then use it as an opportunity to try out genres you otherwise wouldn’t have considered. If all you do is listen to classical, you could use this as an opportunity to try out jazz or blues. Sure, you wouldn’t have to, because there’s just so much music out there to listen to, you won’t ever run out, but to keep things interesting, it might not be a terrible idea. I know I listened to a lot of music, even with genres I like, that I would never listen to if I hadn’t been at a job I hated and doing something I loathed. In many cases, it wasn’t bad perse, but it wasn’t great either, but by sifting through so much unknown territory, I found a few bands and albums that I genuinely enjoyed and wouldn’t have found if I hadn’t been at work listening to new music.
I tried a couple different podcasts, and I fail to remember most of them. Unfortunately, I’m pretty picky about such things, but I did try one DnD podcast, and while it wasn’t bad, it was actually quite good, it didn’t give me what I wanted. I didn’t feel like I was being distracted enough by listening to it, so by easing up my dissociative abilities, I was then faced with my environment in a more brutal way, taking in more than I wished to, and listening to the podcast didn’t make up for that. Here and there, I also listened to YouTube videos I had downloaded that were just fine with only audio. I don’t remember all of them, but I have listened to one of exurb1a’s videos so many times it would be kind of embarrassing to know the exact number. I also listened to a Woolen Sleevelet’s Minecraft series, and while I didn’t care about the content itself all that much, I did enjoy his commentary over it, and that helped me for the short while that it lasted. My suggestion would be to seek out what you know you would enjoy. Listen to a podcast about something you care about, so that you can focus deeply upon it, and feel lost in that world, rather than the one you don’t want to be in.
I only started listening to audiobooks nearing the end of that position, meaning that, I didn’t listen to all that many. I remember listening through the Hobbit and the three Lord of the Rings novels, which I most definitely did enjoy, and would be willing to listen to again. Other than those, I struggle to remember what else I might have listened to, which really isn’t an issue, but it is demonstrative of the fact that I fail to internalize information as well as reading or a visual method than something auditory. I think listening to an audiobook while reading might be good, but at that point, I don’t need to do that. Anyway, this is good if you find that you can focus pretty easily while at your job. If you find that you’re getting distracted often, or you can’t focus on the content, or perhaps it just doesn’t work for you, that’s fine. Beyond audio distractions, you can try to lean towards things that don’t happen all the time, but can make up for the time where you don’t experience them, like talking with co-workers.
I imagine this can be a controversial method for many. I know that I’ve had a lot of trouble talking with people in school, in public, and just general issues making conversation with people. It wasn’t like it was something difficult for me, but instead, the problem was that it was so utterly draining. I felt like I was doing some much work for such little responses. I didn’t receive what I felt like I was putting in, and by learning this, I decided I would be better off not talking at all. This might have been true, and probably is still true to an extent, but I have to be aware not to cut off people immediately. I wouldn’t label myself as anti-social, I enjoy socializing, but I don’t enjoy putting a lot of effort into someone and feeling like it was totally wasted.
However, the reality is, there are times where you actually have great conversations, or even make friends, and the only way you would have found this out would be by actually talking to people. You aren’t going to make friends by being silent, and you aren’t going to have good conversation with no one, unless you talk to yourself, which definitely counts, but you’ll only be feeding yourself information that you already know. For most workplaces, you’ll be seeing the same people consistently, and whether you like it or not, you’ll inevitably speak with them and learn some things about the people you’re around all the time. Even if you don’t like them, information will be shared, and this is just part of being at work. If you have people constantly leaving your workplace, then maybe it will be harder to have lasting connections, but there can still be value there. However, let’s focus on making conversation, and then what could be talked about, and finally what types of connections can be made.
At the jobs I’ve had, there has never been a week where I went without any sort of conversation with someone. Quite honestly, these days, I think that conversation is one the best ways that I deal with my work, and that’s because things have most definitely improved. I can have real conversations that force me to externalize something beyond the surface of my mind. Even when I was working my first job, when I was 16, I was talking with my co-workers and it helped pass the time better than the other things I tried at the time. Even if we were talking about mundane things, talking made me lose focus on the fact I was in a place I didn’t want to be in, how terrible my life sucked, and how I would be miserable even after I was done with work. It distracted me well enough to keep on doing it whenever it arose, as I was almost never the initiator of conversation.
When I was doing overnight stocking, there were less opportunities for conversation, but that still didn’t stop me. During the first four weeks, there was a training period, because you definitely need that much time to learn all the nuances of opening boxes. Anyway, that meant I was with someone most of the night, almost every night, for that first month, and that just meant as long as one person started talking, there would be conversation. I definitely didn’t want to initiate at this time; I was in disassociation mode, because I was miserable, but I didn’t know what else to do, or really, my options were so limited that I had very few choices. Nonetheless, when someone started talking to me, there would be plenty of conversation had. Was it good? Well, not really, most, if not all of it, sucked. Despite sucking, like already said in the context of conversation, it distracted me from the other things that would make me feel even worse.
What I would suggest is that you allow yourself to talk freely enough so that it won’t harm you or anyone else. Remember, if you have to see these people five days of the week, for some indefinite amount of time, you probably don’t want to say rude things or inappropriate things that will change the way they look at you. If you want to do that, I suppose that’s fine, but just know the limitations of acting in such a way. Learn the people around you, and as much as I hate to say it, be willing to accept the mundane or boring conversation that comes your way. Don’t drain yourself trying to talk about that stuff all day, but be willing to take it in and see what you can get out of it. I know that I don’t remember a lot of stuff that was said in those conversations, in fact, I barely remember anything, but receiving even slivers of goodness is more than I could ask for. I mean, otherwise, I would have just been disassociating in my own world of nothingness.
As for the connections that could be made, that definitely varies. I’ve been mostly speaking in the context of having the same co-workers for a long time. I understand that in some positions people are coming in and out very quickly, and this is usually a sign that the job really sucks, but if you’re also there sticking it out, it might be worth seeing who might leave quickly or stay for a longer period of time. Of course, consider whether or not you’ll stay, because if you can, try to find somewhere else if you’re miserable. What I’m getting at is you should consider when you can talk about things that you otherwise wouldn’t say or mention because you are going to leave, or the person you’re speaking with is going to leave very soon. This means you can get away with saying a lot more whilst not having to worry about what the person might view you as. These connections might be weaker than ones where you see the person for years upon years, but you might be able to get personal things off your chest, which the other individual might not care about, but could release tension held within you. Aside from conversation at the workplace, you probably will have breaks, and these have been incredibly important for me in making the most out of the time I have to spend working.
How you might be able to maximize your break-time depends on a variety of factors. Like, how many breaks you have, if any, how long those can be, and what things you want to do that you can do during those periods of time. Breaks are powerful in the sense that you basically have the ability to do whatever you want for a set amount of time, and if things are nice enough, you’re getting paid during that time, too. I have done a variety of things to make my breaks more or less ideal. What worked in the past was that I would mostly just read while on break. When I was working my first job, when I was a teenager I mean, I didn’t take advantage of this fully, as things only started improving for me mentally when I turned 18. I would do what most other people do, which is simply browse indefinitely. I think I actually scrolled on reddit quite a bit, and I’m sure that did nothing positive for me. There was also a lot of texting, which I probably do some of now, but not as much as in the past.
Moving into the times where I was stocking overnight, I actually started trying to take advantage of the time I had more than ever before. It mostly resided in and was relating to reading. I would try to read as much as I could during my break times. I had two twenty-minute breaks and one thirty-minute lunch break. I probably didn’t get to read all that much, but I tried as hard as I could to get down as many pages as possible. I worked at two different stores, and at the first one, I ran back into my car to read, because I couldn’t stand the music playing; it felt too hard to read when listening to that garbage, even in the background. So, I was then running back and forth really far in order to get some peace and quiet while reading, which ate up even more time. However, despite this, it was better than hanging out with the other people I was working with and feeling even lonelier than I usually would. Eventually though, this changed. When I switched to the other store, this one a bit newer, at first, it didn’t have annoying music playing all the time. That was fixed quite quickly though, but I stayed inside the breakroom while reading, which gave me a few more minutes here and there. As you might already know from experience, most grocery stores are going to have a literal clock you use to record your hours. As a result of this, I would have to clock out whenever I would take a lunch break, because that was unpaid, and clock back in when it was over. This meant I was pretty restricted, time-wise, and couldn’t go over that limit unless I wanted to cause issues for myself.
Aside from these jobs, I have had two more recent positions that more or less were the same, as least with the time I would have a break and what I would do during that time. At my last contract position, I believe I only had one lunch break, but because the day was shorter, it made sense why that was the case, and I read during that time. Of course, I didn’t get to read all that much, but being able to read at all was nice. At my current contract position, I have a lot more versatility in my breaks. One thirty-minute break along with an hour lunch allows me to do things I couldn’t have done in the past. What I’ve been doing recently has been reading and eating during the short break, while during the long one, I write. It’s been working out pretty well, and I actually think I’m finally maximizing my time.
Everything I’ve presented thus far has been either about getting away from the work itself or trying to make the most out of the time when you aren’t literally doing the job you’ve been hired for. However, actually trying to get the most out of the job that you do is incredibly important for your own satisfaction. The reality is, even if you hate your job, if you must do it, you should be trying to see what can be done to make it something you hate less. Depending on the job that you do, there is undeniably variability in how this can be done, but the reality is, you’ll have to get creative in how you approach this. I didn’t do this for earlier jobs I’ve had, but I’ll talk about why that is, and what I’ve been doing now, even if slowly, to make the job I currently have more worthwhile than the path of not trying at all.
When I worked at grocery stores, there was very little I could do. Maybe you could do more if you had something more local or at a smaller scale, but basically, this chain was too big for me to have any meaningful impact on the systems already in place. Due to this, I basically had no influence over how things would be done, and that sucked. The managers were idiotic, and I would be doing more work instead of less, and I couldn’t choose the option of less without experiencing some sort of repercussion. At my current position, things are slightly better, because I can do a lot more of whatever I want as long as the main tasks I’ve been assigned are completed. There’s time within my schedule where it isn’t assigned to a particular task, which means I can do whatever I want within that. However, there are times where someone tells me they need help or I’m instructed to do something within that time. This has enabled me, for example, to make alterations to my environment to make it a little better, such as the station I normally work at. It might be small, and it might not really matter because I’m not even employed by this company, but being able to make changes feels good, people like to feel like they have influence on the world around them, so being able to do that for me is also good.
As for you, I suggest you start asking questions in reference to what you do and what is possible. If you can get away with doing a lot more things to make your work environment more desirable for you to be in, then do so. Try to make things the best they possibly can be, because if you must be there, you should be trying to make it nice and enjoyable. If you can’t have that much influence, at least think about what could be changed, and break down why that is. Thinking about these things can help you consider the things that you do have influence over, like your own home. I’ve thought quite a lot about things like organizing and sorting in the current position I’m in, and because of that, it moved into my home life, which is still taking place… it’s a work in progress. Nonetheless, it is happening, and you should see what can be done as well.
It’s not an easy task to make work less miserable, it’s going to take a lot of effort from you in order to make things better than what they normally are. By trying to do so, in any extent, is a step forward, as you then can come up with further ideas on how to make things better, and keep that momentum flowing. I’ve tried to tackle some of the main methods I’ve used to deal with work, these being: disassociation, audio, chatting, break maximization, and position maximization. It’s not like the methods to making work less miserable are limited to these, but it’s a good starting point, and you should keep poking and prying your mind on how you could make your position with its own individualistic qualities better than what it already is. Try to find better work, but if that’s not a choice, don’t settle for your job to stay the same as it is. Change yourself to handle it better, but don’t submit to a life of misery, I sure as hell won’t.