I think we all do a bit of self-manipulation. Whether we have the awareness or not, we inevitably interact with people or things that manipulate us, which causes us to think in ways that are manipulative. It might sound absurd to hear that the more you associate with people who have a tendency to manipulate, the more likely you are to think in a manipulative way. However, it’s pretty normalized, and it isn’t exactly something to worry about. This leads into the fact that, for most people, they’ve experienced enough of that manipulation for there to be some ability to manipulate themselves and others. They may manipulate others for their own gain. Similarly, they could manipulate another individual for that person’s gain. As you might expect, this depends on the disposition and motivation of the manipulator. What I’m getting at is that manipulation does not have to be inherently evil or harmful, which you may have been led to believe. You might think that manipulation isn’t a part of your life, but that’s probably because you aren’t aware of the ways it is, because you’ve probably been around the same people or things for the entirety of your lifetime.
I think that people have been taught that manipulation is an evil and awful thing from an early age. Why would this be done? Well, for one, at a young age, the teacher or guardian won’t be able to explain the nuances or complexes of manipulation to a child, if they even understand them in the first place. Along with this, it is easier to simplify rather than digging deeper into the nuances of the action, and then promptly moving on. This is valid beyond manipulation, as we’re taught many things at early ages that turn out to be a lot more nuanced. In my own personal experience, I was taught by my parents that people aren’t to be trusted, other than my direct family, of course. That’s absolutely absurd. In that same vein, we also are taught simple things that are true but aren’t delved into any deeper. In elementary school, I was taught to treat others with respect in order to receive respect. This actually tends to work, but if one party is unwilling to give respect, the system breaks. There are also times where we observe things that are traumatic or so influential that it becomes difficult to sway our thoughts or beliefs on certain things because of the particular impact of that experience. It can be hurtful. I, for one, have been manipulated by others on many occasions, and I am also aware that I will be manipulated in the future. Due to the trauma associated with a lot of that manipulation, I have found it hard to be trusting of others, even if I can logically decide that the other person can be trusted. I would like to think as I become more aware of my surroundings and the people within them, I can avoid the manipulation, but when the environments or the individuals within them change, the patterns also change, which means I will have to recognize new patterns and alter my perception of old ones. This awareness plays a role in what is being marketed to me or calling for my attention. It attempts to manipulate, or as some others might say, persuade, and with that manipulation it tries to convince me to commit to an action.
We, and when I say we, I mean the western world, of which is most likely my audience, live in a consumerist society revolving around the purchasing of goods, we work, at the cost of our time and energy, to purchase these goods, but how do we know what goods to spend our money on? With the exception of goods for physiological needs, think about the last twenty things you bought. Whatever these things were, did you purchase the goods with intent? Did you receive exactly what you had in mind? Maybe you did, but it was unlikely you received exactly what you had in mind. You may have had a general idea of what you wanted, but that wouldn’t be enough to purchase something. Suppose you wanted to purchase a plastic water bottle, but you were given a variety of choices for the bottle that could be purchased, and then you had to make a choice. Now it becomes difficult to purchase a plastic water bottle. You might think “What makes one bottle better than the other?” or “What bottle is the best for the price?” Someone or something has to provide this information to you, and it must be convincing enough for you to choose their product over someone else’s product. This is being manipulative, the goal being to manipulate you into thinking you need their product more than an alternative producer’s product. Businesses exist to make a profit, and they will work in ways you aren’t aware in order to do so. The business that is selling the product wants you to believe you need their particular product, when you really don’t, because there are alternative product producers available. They’re trying to manipulate you into buying their product, for they need you to do so in order to survive. Obviously, not all businesses are like this. Some might not have any advertising or any means to sell their product, but if they act in that way, they probably have no need to or can’t afford it. Even so, I’m not talking about exceptions to the rule, rather, the status-quo.
The plastic water bottle example gives you an idea of easy it is to begin manipulating someone into believing they need a particular product, assuming they’re not looking for a product with specific features and are already aware of exactly what they want. Now, think about someone who isn’t looking for anything. They have no particular want or need to purchase a product. We all have basic physiological needs which must be paid for. Shelter, food, water, clothes, whatever you need to literally survive, but there are also all the other products that exist that we don’t need. Do we need to pay for a subscription service to watch hundreds of hours of video content? No, we don’t need this. However, many of us are paying for this. Why? There are a few reasons why someone might choose to pay for a subscription in order to watch video content.
For one, they may believe that it’s their only option when they have free time available, they might not be aware of the alternatives, or they believe the alternatives will lack the convenience factor. For two, they don’t care about the alternatives, because they already have something, and are satiated, so they don’t have an interest to find something better, because they don’t need better, even if their choice is a detriment to themselves or their wallet. For three, they’ve been manipulated into thinking that they need the subscription service. Whatever the reason, there is also an unlimited amount of content that one could read and they would never be able to read even a small sliver of the existing literature, and that’s not including all the literature that would be created as they’re in the midst of their reading saga. They wouldn’t even need to pay for that small sliver either, they could read it online or go to a library. They’ve avoided spending money every month, and it’s freely accessible and has the ability to be much more immersive than video content beaming into your eyes. Even if you hated reading for whatever reason, there is also enough video content online available to fulfill your lifetime, for free, and this doesn’t even include the fact that you could just pirate everything! So, why, why would any of us buy such a thing? Well, we’ve been told to, and we’ve been convinced that we need it, and that our lives will be better as a result of it.
This is manipulation. This is what most of us probably consider evil, harmful, painful, and awful, and yet it’s part of our lives, without much choice of our own. Yes, we can minimize it, but the point is, as things stand as a normal person, you have to deal with it. We accept it because we’ve been told to accept it. For without it, capitalism wouldn’t really work, now, would it? How can we have a functioning system of consumption without being convinced that we must always be in a state of consumption? I don’t know, if someone knows, then I would love to know, but I don’t know. Not that I mean to say this is a bad thing, or that capitalism is bad, or whatever, but my point is, much of the world relies on manipulation. If you believed that you weren’t being manipulated in any way, that might be enough to change your mind. This brings us back to the fact that manipulation gets into our thoughts without much of our choice, however, now we can manipulate ourselves as a result of being manipulated.
It’s not my intent to explain how to escape any systems like being manipulated constantly, or to stop your consumption habits, or to even make you believe that the manipulation I’ve presented is a bad thing. My goal is to steer you into changing some of your manipulative-thought habits. Simply, I mean to manipulate yourself for good. As you will see, my system of good and bad is based around construction and deconstruction. For me, what is good is what creates, and what is bad is what destroys, and you should keep that in mind if you don’t hold the same belief. Manipulation of others for good is good too, but I’d steer away from such a thing because the “good” as we know it, is totally subjective. I wouldn’t, even if just on few people, want to manipulate them that could lead to harm. Sure, manipulation of yourself could be harmful, but that harm is reversible. Keep track of what you do to yourself, or to others, or really anything you want the ability to reverse. Anyway, good is subjective, and you will be basing these thoughts and ideas around your own form of good, and in this, I believe that it’s still beneficial, because with time, I’d like to think that you could find forms of good that stop harm from yourself and others. I learned that I didn’t have to manipulate myself into certain thoughts at certain points in my life, and you might find that to be the same for you. I learned that I could manipulate myself to feel better, rather than worse. I’d also later like to touch upon manipulation of yourself to get away from existence.
I personally had to manipulate myself into believing that many of my actions matter. Previous to this, I believed nothing mattered. I would function minimally and then sleep, rinsing and repeating the cycle, for I believed that I was too weak to end my life, whilst also being unable to change things. Maybe for a time, this had some truth, maybe I couldn’t change things, but the problem occurred when I did gain that ability. It took some time to realize that I could change things internally, although it would not come easily, and it did not come for a long time. Through those efforts of changing things internally, I could then change the external world, because it had to first occur internally. There were also external variables at play, such as people and substances which altered the ways in how I would manipulate myself. Nonetheless, as simply put as possible, as I manipulated myself into believing things mattered, I was able to do things again. Initially it started out slow, just being able to read books, then it transitioned into writing, and then it transitioned into a plethora of other things, all of which went on and on because I had accumulated so many things I believed had to do and be. I accumulated so many things that had to be acquired and done that I would never have enough time to do them all in the time span I wanted. You can push yourself to do a lot, but I pushed too far, and it began to harm me. This goes on to showcase how by doing a good thing, even good in only my view, could be harmful, because having so many things I believe I had to do began to impair me from doing anything, which made me feel awful. And of important note, I genuinely believed that nothing mattered, and sometimes I still do, however, I’ve manipulated myself to do things despite the belief surfacing, because I have a tendency to focus on the idea that certain things do matter, because it allows me to do things, otherwise, I’d lay in bed starting at the ceiling, at most, and then going to work, forever, which makes me feel awful, and I don’t want to feel awful.
This also exemplifies what my form of “good” and “bad” are currently, as I believe not doing things to be “bad” and doing things to be “good” and I do what I can to act in accordance to that. However, as you may have noticed, the two aforementioned systems of thought are present, one of meaninglessness and one of meaning, wouldn’t this mean I’m now contradictory? Yes, it would, and sometimes one state of thought will take over, even just temporarily, whether I want it to or not. External factors can change the state of my mind as well as internal ones. However, this is not always harmful to me, as I believe I should maintain both truths in order to see things in more a neutral light, as much as I could maintain, anyway. However, in your case, it might be different. You might not have these contradictions, or if you do, you might rid of the one you consider “bad.” My only suggestion would be to remember when you do attempt to rid yourself of the “bad.” I remember by writing it down, because in the future, that “bad” might then become good, and then it can be restored.
I have not spoken of how to manipulate yourself exactly, because it’s not like I have a step-by-step process to manipulating yourself. It’s all very dependent on experiences, environments, genetics, and so on, so I can’t exactly tell you how to execute what you want. What I can do, instead, is give you some ideas in order to help you figure out your own mind and how to manipulate yourself, because I believe it to occur on a case-by-case basis, you might already do something similar but with a different label. I find that by asking questions, you can learn a lot about yourself, because questions need to be answered, and getting more specific with these questions in order to figure out who you are and what you want. You should also try remembering experiences that have influenced you to think or act in certain ways. Some of these experiences will be painful, so if you aren’t ready for your own trauma, remember how you got there, but don’t take any further steps until you’re ready, because the last thing I or anyone else would want is for you to hurt yourself.
Some questions I’d suggest you ask yourself are: “Why do I want to manipulate myself?” and then “How will I manipulate myself?” and “What do I know about manipulation?” You should also consider what will be done once you have manipulated yourself into thinking or acting in a certain way, think about the future, what will come of the change, and try to write it all down, or your own equivalent of writing things down. For your own reference, in my own system, self-manipulation has to revolve around action, if I manipulate myself into inaction, I will become depressed. If I manipulate myself into thinking all things are purposelessness, I will become depressed. If I manipulate myself into hedonism, I will become depressed. My suggestion, although you don’t have to follow it, as you might disagree with what I’ve stated, is to follow things you believe to have meaning but have been cut-off from you for whatever reason. I have found that self-manipulation works best if something has to be changed and you know it has to change. If you’re content with how things are, you probably don’t feel the need to manipulate yourself anyway. If you do feel there is some sort of blockage, try to think deeply about what you love. Think about what is stopping you from continuing that love. In my opinion, love is the only thing that will give you the tools you need in order to continue that state of being in love, and being so totally in love, you will do whatever you can for that love. You might love an instrument, or a particular person, or writing, or you might like all of these, and if so, I say you should follow them. For me, without them, I will suffer, and I will be in pain.
Now, you have to be very particular and focused in what is a choice; a choice in what you want yourself to do or be. You are choosing to follow and become a part of something or someone, and you have to accept that. You will be, in some extent, that thing. Not literally in the physical world, but in how you think and act, because that thing will have become an internal part of you, since much of your own internal world is revolving around that particular thing. Yes, it can and will revolve around multiple things, and like you can imagine, you will be influenced around those things. Not to say you aren’t influenced by things in the external world, because that isn’t true, as you are influenced by all things you can perceive, but you can try and give hierarchy to those influences.
You also have to be particular and careful in the ways you manipulate yourself because you have been manipulated in ways you are unaware, as have I, and only with time will you uncover all the ways you have been and are being manipulated. Think of being manipulated via marketing and advertising, you are being told what to believe and think, with or without a convincing argument, for the purpose of money. If you then manipulate yourself into believing you need the thing you’ve been told you need, you will probably end up empty and unhappy. It’s not like I’ve gotten to the bottom of myself, of what makes me, me, because I’m deep enough inside to make myself think and do things that I think will make me happy. If playing video games all day will make you happy, then do it, but also keep in mind all the things that come with that.
This also plays a part in escaping thoughts that pertain to existence itself. I touched upon this with the idea that you become a part of the thing you love, and that thing becomes a part of you, and here, I can only speak of personal experience, but in that experience, it might give you an idea of how it might work for you.
I have had flow-like states and intense sessions of focus that distanced myself from thoughts that would make me feel miserable, and instead, I spent that energy into the things I was acting upon, not totally dissimilar from right now. Not that this will happen every time, however, with more time put in, it becomes easier to do, and some tasks allow this to happen more easily. I can get into a state of writing where I forget about time, food, water, my body, what I need to do later, and whatever else, because all that matters to me in that moment is writing, and it’s a good feeling. It makes me feel like I’m on a mission, like I have to do something, and it really does matter, and that feeling is probably the best I could ask for. I’ve had this happen to me with guitar, although not to the same frequency that I’ve had with writing, and as I’ve slowly been introducing myself into drawing, I’ve had similar moments, but I end up tired quickly. These are all creative activities, where I’m escaping my existence and my life by creating, taking what is internal and externalizing it, or training to create the thing externally. You might even think of it as emptying a bucket. I’d say this bucket can be refilled just by experiencing life, you don’t have to go out of your way to consume something, but you can, and in some cases, this can have a similar effect to escapism.
The easiest and most applicable means of consuming for me is reading. There are a few layers of filtration going on when I read, but for the most part, I’m consuming a lot of information at once, and this helps refill the bucket more quickly than other things, and it has the added benefit of escaping thoughts that exist to harm me. Instead of maintaining intense focus on externalizing things, you focus on internalizing things. You have to be deliberate with this. Like said, you can fill the bucket without focusing, but if you do focus, I’d like to imagine you get more out of the internalization and it lasts for longer. For me, I can get easily lost in words, meanings, questions, and so-on, but it might not work for you. If it doesn’t, there are still other forms of media that can be consumed with a deliberate focus which can help refill that bucket and help you escape as well. I might bash on subscription-based video services, but if there is a particular show you believe to be good or meaningful, you can watch it, but watch it with focus, think beyond what is presented to you directly, and think about the things you can’t see with your eyes, or you can’t hear with your ears. Most importantly, this is another case of you allowing something to be a part of you, and thus it means it’s a choice that should be chosen carefully. I don’t know how much influence it will have on you, but that’s why I created my own mental hierarchy of what will influence me, and sometimes, it doesn’t always work as I intend it to.
I’ve spoken mostly of material things, even if I find them to be beautiful things, or I might say things of love, but there’s also another thing that does both the taking and giving: people. In my experience, people have a tendency to take rather than give, and so it doesn’t work very for me. However, for others, it can work very well. Some people can talk to others and receive energy as a result of talking to them, it doesn’t require effort for them to talk, for the words flow freely out of their mouths, which is the externalizing part, and then words flow freely from the mouth of the other person or people, which you then internalize. This back-and-forth motion could theoretically be an indefinite energy loop where you’re always giving and taking, you always feel like you’re receiving something and giving something. For some, it may actually work this way, or something very well near it. For others, like myself, it does not, and I find myself doing a lot more of the externalizing in conversation and less of the internalizing, and so my bucket is emptied at a much faster rate than others. And, I’d like to reiterate for the last time, you are becoming a part of that person or people you interact with, so choose them wisely, if you can. This is such a high importance because you might end up becoming a person or parts of a person that you did not expect, but it actually was obvious to why it was happening: you internalized parts of them. A final note in reference to people, it is not limited to conversation, it can be other actions too. Think for example: playing a sport with someone. You can throw a ball back and forth, or you can hit something back and forth, but the point is: there is a back-and-forth motion, to give and to take, to externalize and to internalize.
You might have noticed a pattern of internalization and externalization in your self-manipulation, and that is the core foundation of what’s going on. If you only have one, there is an imbalance. I can sit around all day and think, focusing on the internal, and then nothing comes of it. I will feel awful because I had done nothing externally. Not to say sitting around and thinking is a bad thing, but it should be purposeful, in my own system of meaning. This is the same for focusing on the external, you can play an instrument all day, but you will feel the need to get something in you, because you spent all your time getting things out of you. How you will find your balance, I do not know, because this balance is vastly different from person to person. You might be someone who spends 90% of their time internalizing information and 10% externalizing it, or 50/50, or any other variation. Find that balance, do it by testing yourself. You don’t have to numerically make note of it like I did, you can just merely “feel” it out, see what feels right or wrong, and work from there. Even then, not all things will externalize the same, nor will all things internalize the same, you will have to play around to see what works best for you, and be willing to try new things.
I think that you may have a better idea of how to manipulate yourself now. Whether you want to use this information or not, it is up to you. All I wanted to do is try and make you aware of it in case you weren’t aware of your own capabilities. This is merely your own disillusionment of reality, as every form of reality is just as faux as any other, and you can use this fact and disillusion yourself into any form of reality that you want, for good or bad, for destruction or construction, within the confines of your own perception. But as I’ve made it clear, I want it to be for good, if it’s my form of good, that’s great, I’m glad we’re on the same page, if not, please be careful, and always ask and question your forms of good and bad, for they are not in a static state, but a liquid one, and be prepared to change and adapt yourself to these changes, for they will always be coming, whether deliberate or unexpected.