For a while, I wanted to focus on working on things. By things, I mean writing and video creation, along with some other activities. In order to focus purely on these two main things, I would drop other important things to me, such as talking with people. The reality is, I can’t just stop talking to people to focus on these things, or at the very least, I have to be willing to accept a larger scale ebb-and-flow. In the midst of working on all of these things, I didn’t feel lonely or upset over the fact I wasn’t having conversations with anyone to any frequency. What I would like to speak about is how important conversation is to me, and likely many others. While not the only qualities of conversation, some crucial ones that come to mind are: new ideas, unexpected interactions, new ways to think about old ideas, combing over existing ideas, and new information altering what has already been thought about. This ends up being seemingly a lot, and it is very necessary for me, as being merely aware of the importance of conversation enables me to write about it, and the only way I would have been motivated to do so is by conversation itself.
How do we get ideas in the first place? Well, we have to be exposed to things, the outside world, and an idea, whatever it might be, is something that comes as a result of that perception, but it is not the perception itself. Perhaps that isn’t the traditional definition of an idea, but in this context, it feels right. If I have an idea on how to make something, or change something, or alter it, I had to be exposed to that thing as it is, and by thinking about that thing, I can alter and augment it as I wish within my mind. A really simple example of this can be the arrangement of icons on your taskbar. You can choose which ones to pin, unpin, and the arrangement of the icons, but you had to begin at square zero; not knowing what applications you would use, their frequency of use, and which ones are most comfortable in particular locations. It required you to have an idea of what you wanted, and you required the knowledge of a computer, programs, and a taskbar in order to execute your idea. Without the exposure and knowledge of these things, you would have not had the idea of which arrangement you would like most. The qualities described here in this example are just as real and significant in things like conversation.
Exposure to reality itself can give us many different ideas. Of what is, is not, what could be, or what could not be. However, this is based only on our perception. If we want to pick it up a notch, in complexity I mean, you can take notice of information which alters your perception of reality, which then influences your ideas. With this, we can notice that everyone has their own circumstances which made them who they are. As a result of this acknowledgement, one can now notice that each person has their own unique version of reality within their minds.
This is exactly how you learn of new ideas from other people. What you once understood in one way can be understood in many others. What was once simple is now complicated because one side has now transformed into an indefinite number of sides. I have one friend in particular that seemingly always brings something new to my mind, or at least, stimulates what is already there. Take for example the, “Why vs. How” video and writing. That wasn’t really “my idea” perse, but by being introduced to it, I was stimulated enough by it to write. That acted as a motivator, a catalyst; it inspired me, and that’s one of the most important takeaways from conversation: inspiration.
I find that I’ve had a lot of unexpected interactions in VRChat. Not all that long ago, I was seeking inspiration from random people on that platform. This probably wasn’t the wisest thing to do, but I wanted to give it a try nonetheless. I mainly was trying to interact with people in the Great Pug and Furry Hideout. The Pug had relatively little success, in fact, it was usually quite bad. It probably would have been better on Friday or Saturday nights, but I would have to give it a try on those days if I want to find out. The other world I would try was a furry world instance. It was quite bad most of the time due to the fact it’s very popular and Quest compatible. Unfortunately, this just means you have to deal with a lot of children, which is not something I exactly enjoy doing. Despite these drawbacks, I did have a good conversation here and there. Were they always great? Quite honestly, no, most were terrible, but from my memory, my last interactions were pretty fun.
I was running around in different instances going up to people and asking, “What isn’t being talked about that needs to be talked about?” To you and I, this is obviously me begging for inspiration, desperately trying to get anything out of random people, because I thought that’s what I needed for some reason. The problem was that most people were incapable of answering this question in any extent, of which I can’t totally blame them. There’s definitely a lot that needs to be talked about, but being able to surface something in specific and then explain it, is, well sadly going to be difficult to find in most people. Even a bad answer, one I disagreed with, would have been better than what I received the most, which was “I don’t know.” The best part would be that anyone who said this did it instantaneously; they didn’t even try to consider the question. Despite this being the overwhelming majority of responses, I received, I want to mention at least one good response that I pleasantly enjoyed.
I asked someone this question and they told me the foster care system. This took me by surprise, because that is something that is not talked about, to any extent, as far as I’m aware. This person then went on to tell me all about the problems she faced with the system, the hardships, and the issues. It seems to me the system is flawed and those who want to foster children have a tendency to be those who want to use or abuse the kids they foster. At the very least, that was her experience. There is also someone that is supposed to do regular check-ups on the family fostering the child. Once again, her experience indicated this was either not done or done with such infrequency it might as well be considered superfluous. The point is obviously to make sure the family is taking proper care of the child, and if not, to take the child out of the home. As a result of this not being the case, abuse runs rampant and is not controlled.
Aside from the, “I don’t know” people, and this one conversation, there was very little that happened or occurred as a result of asking this question. However, as I’ve showcased, there is a capability to find individuals capable of answering such a question, and being accepting of further questioning. If it isn’t obvious, there is much more to random interactions than simply asking a question and seeing if you receive a desirable response. I’ve had people come up to me and I fail to give them a good response. In those moments, they’ll just walk away, but some people will try again and again. Especially those who want a specific response; they’ll nag you for as long as they can. As for the good interactions, I would promote the person to keep speaking by giving them attention. One friend of mine came from an interaction like this. He started speaking, and while not exactly of topics I care for, was instantly more fascinating than the majority merely because he had a large information-base and an ability to externalize it.
When I feel like someone is talking about something I already know, there’s a chance, I don’t even know if it’s likely, that I will drop some of my attention. New information causes me to perk up and stay alert in order to take in as much as possible. Old information being thought about in new ways can cause you to think of the old and boring in new and refreshing ways. Something that comes to mind as an easy and recent example has to do with technology. I pretty much believe myself to be up-to-date with VR on Linux, and Linux on the desktop in general. Yet, there was something new brought to my attention, “Wyvern,” which seemingly has only existed recently or I only have been made aware of it recently. Basically, it looks like the best way to play VR if you were on Linux, for some reason. Despite the reality that I probably won’t even try this, mostly due to time constraints, it made me think of possibilities that otherwise couldn’t have been realized. Perhaps this isn’t the best example, but the general gist is that, with the introduction of new information interrelated to and an extension of the old, the new information can allow you to have unexpected ideas that could change a variety of things; like you or how you do things. This is more-so to do with new ways to think about old ideas as it pertains to ideas I’ve already had.
There are many things that I have to comb over. By this I mean I go over the same thing, whatever the thing is, multiple times. I continually do this with writing, drawing, or really anything that matters to me and can be altered to be better by working on a draft or unfinished product. Of course, this applies to… conversation? Would you believe it? Basically, if I want to have a good conversation with someone, I need to have thought things over a few times. By sharing thoughts that aren’t instantaneous blurts of information, I give a higher quality of information. As you might be aware, yes, I don’t do this all the time, nor can I. Yet, by indulging in conversation at all, I can then see where I hadn’t thought about things all that much, and perhaps what I should look more closely into. Then I’m made more aware of what I should comb over, and if every conversation were perfect, this would happen without exception. Unfortunately, this isn’t the case, and I have to make do with what I do receive, but at least it happens at all. Many of the things I’ve written about have stemmed from conversation, whether I’m combing over my own thoughts or someone else’s. In fact, merely thinking about conversation brings me to the point of writing about it, which enables me to not only mentally comb over them once they’re on paper but also utilize them in conversation. Now, whenever I speak of conversation in conversation, I more quickly and easily am at a point to speak extensively of the things mentioned here.
New information will and can alter how you think, and it likely will sprout new ideas that you couldn’t have otherwise conjured up. Yes, new information can act as an extension of ideas you’ve already had, but that’s slightly different. Sure, one might argue that all new information is an extension of old information simply as a result of everything being interconnected in some way, shape, or form. Once again, I try to take the pragmatic approach in analyzing the differences between the extension of ideas and formation of ideas as the result of new information received in conversation. An extension requires ideas already had, suppose using VR on Linux, and then being introduced to something new, like “Wyvern” which changes the ideas I have on using VR on Linux! New information, in an isolated form, by itself, forms the new ideas. Yes, there are always prerequisites, but I’m drawing the line, for me mentally anyway, at the point where most of the idea, if not all, is a result of my internalization from another person in conversation. With that out of the way, we probably should look at an example.
How I think about myself has been altered throughout the years via conversation. Conversations with my parents have led me to believe that I should hate myself, that they hate me, and that there is no help for me aside from the God they praise. These conversations, while pretty much one-sided, were conversations nonetheless, and they impacted me negatively, and altered not only my self-image but also my perception of the world. Just as this is true, new people and new conversation have also done the opposite of what has negatively impacted me. Conversations where I work through all these feelings, where I’m told I’m a good a person and it’s being broken down logically to me, and the other person really means it, also has altered how I perceive myself and the world around me. These are incredibly simple examples, but do they not showcase the importance of conversation?
If I had chosen to isolate instead of seek out conversation, these things would have never been said to me, and that could have meant that I only got worse, rather than better. I could only imagine a few contingences of what might have come of me, and they aren’t great, and I inquire you to ask yourself: “Am I hurting myself by not talking to someone?” Ideas are important, but ideas about yourself, ideas about what you could be, what you are capable of doing, and what you want yourself to be, and honestly, many more, are all incredibly significant. You are the most important person, after all.
Without conversation, I would not think I could be who I am currently. Even two years ago, I did not think I could ever write as much as I do, play an instrument—even to a small extent, nor did I have the belief that I could be more. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I need people. Everyone needs people, it’s just a matter of admitting that, and then getting closer to having that. It’s not easy, and I’m fortunate to have what I do, and that has enabled me to be much more okay than in the past.
Without conversation, I never thought I would be capable of making a website, or making videos, or learning anything more than I already knew. Of course, it’s just as true to say that through conversation, I felt like I didn’t have those capabilities, but conversation, and the words from the one’s I love and trust, have had such a significant impact on me because they moved me out of the pit I was once in. That pit which held me down from believing I had the capability to be more.
Without conversation, I wouldn’t have sifted through and combed over ideas about what I want. I don’t think I formed what I want by myself, the things I’m working towards I would barely even call things that I, me, the individual, actually want. It’s really more just things made by other people. However, things I have wanted myself to be, things relating to my physical body and such, I used to want to hurt myself and remove myself from this host. With the help from others, in conversations, chats, and pseudo-therapy sessions, I have reached closer to being okay with what I am, sure it still hurts, but I know what I want, rather than pushing that away and hurting myself with thoughts of what is right or wrong, which was also placed into me by others.
The main attributes that define the importance of conversation: new and different ideas, changed thinking with those ideas, fleshing out existing ideas, new information altering what has already been thought about, and the interactions that are unexpected which could pop-up and have none or all of these qualities. I have finally begun to be okay with talking with people and enjoying the company of someone else, without having any expectation that I will gain something. At one point or another, you realize that you don’t always have to gain things from conversation; you can just soak in the presence of someone else, and feel their energy, their words, and internalize parts of them which make you someone more developed and capable of understanding more than what you previously did.
That’s basically it, but if wanting to go on a little more, I also think a lot of what I have described could be applied to writing. I use writing to comb over many of my thoughts, and while only recently I have been able to share them, and even more recently to receive feedback on them, it has helped significantly to get it out of my system. There are parts of me that so desperately want to get out of me. By keeping those parts bottled up; I begin to feel awful. It has come in fatigue, sadness, confusion, and in many more ways. I don’t want to feel those things, but sometimes I forget what I need to do to help myself, and the reality is, it can be quite hard to write something.
Writing, at least in my opinion, generally takes a lot more effort than conversation. Sure, it depends on what the conversation is, but when talking with someone, we could say a casual chat, I could get out parts of myself without putting in a significant amount of energy to display that. I mean this, as in, I could say a lot of, well, “whatever,” and it would make me feel better than keeping it inside. Even if the other person doesn’t understand what I’m saying, it can feel quite good to get it out, rather than keeping it in and letting it continually build up inside.
Everyone has heard that starting is the hardest part, and for me, this is unfortunately the same, but not all things are equal in their difficulty. To write something new and fresh with no words on the paper already, I am going to have a lot more difficulty starting that than going ahead and speaking just about anything with someone else. Conversation enables me to externalize myself without putting in the same amount of effort that I would with writing, which enables it to be incredibly powerful and important to me. Conversation has allowed me to become the person that I am, and I have to remember that.